Back... Sort Of

So it's been forever since I have posted I know... I will try to remedy that but the 21 credit hours I am taking at school this semester are kickng my butt. Do check out the updated Top Ten to the left and will post more soon! (If you need or want any of those tracks, let e know :)

MJ Medley

So I am guessing this is what it would be like if the OctoMom's offspring were 1) identical(ish); 2) all male; 3) all gay; and 4) fans of Michael Jackson...

oh, and 5) fantastic acapella singers! Enjoy!

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ps> his name is Sam Tsui and you can find more of his stuff all over YouTube

Twangers

So this is just wrong...

...hilarious... but wrong. Enjoy!

Some Of The Best

So here are some of my favorite albums of the year so far. The latest by Mew is by far my favorite and the rest are just listed in alphabetical order.

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Mew - - No More Stories Are Told Today...

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Antony & The Johnsons - - The Crying Light

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The Barlights - - If It Wasn't For The Light, The Dark Would Have Killed Us

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Casiotone - - Advance Base Battery Life

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Cobra Starship - - Hot Mess

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David Guetta - - One Love

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Deadmau5 - - For Lack Of A Better Name

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The Dodos - - Time To Die

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Elizabeth & The Catapult - - Taller Children

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Eminem - - Relapse

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Engineers - - Three Fact Fader

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LCD Soundsystem - - 45:33

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Lily Allen - - It's Not Me, It's You

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New Cassettes - - The Art Of

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Passion Pit - - Manners

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Temper Traps - - Conditions

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Wild Beasts - - Two Dancers

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I'm sure I have forgotten a few... will add them later.

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More soon!

Blue Paper Umbrellas and Pink Plastic Straws

So, in lieu of the list of the best albums of the year so far (which is coming, I promise), a friend asked me to share one of the stories I wrote for my course with Witi Ihimaera ("Whale Rider") last semester. So... here is one. It is fictional despite being set at Hula's which only seems fictional at times. It is far from finished so any editing suggestions are welcome! Thanks!

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“Blue Paper Umbrellas and Pink Plastic Straws”

Cam stares absently across Hula’s long wooden bar. To his right, the mirrored shelves of liquor reflect the long wooden canoe suspended, upside-down, above the padded stools occupied by the few other middle-aged, mid-afternoon patrons. They are talking amongst themselves and sipping the umbrella-decorated Mai Tais that are on special today. Looking up, Cam glances at the signed anniversary oars also suspended above and around the long wooden bar that sits in the center of Waikiki’s most popular bar; he is curious as to who signed them but not enough to ask the shirtless bartender. Through the windows, which are generally open and a big part of the bar’s appeal, and over the trees that ring and hide the animal residents of and human visitors to the Honolulu Zoo is Waikiki’s most famous landmark: Diamond Head. The long-dormant crater is illuminated by the full moon and reminds Cam of one more reason why he never went back to New York. He pushes the pineapple wedge, stabbed with an umbrella, aside with his nose and sucks more of the too-sweet concoction up the straw into his mouth.

“Anyone sitting here?” Cam turns his head toward the voice. A cute Asian boy motions to the stool to Cam’s left and then sits as Cam shakes his head. Cam stares at him. Cute. Probably Japanese Hawaiian. Good mix. Before Cam can ask if he’d like a drink, his mobile phone vibrates in the left pocket of his A&F shorts. He lifts a forefinger to the boy. “Excuse me.” Then, “Hey,” he says into the mouthpiece. It’s Rick calling. “Where are you?”


Rick looks impatiently at the tall local officer sitting behind the desk across the floor from where he sits on one of the hard plastic chairs in the precinct waiting area. “I’m at the police station by my house,” he says into his phone. He pauses as Cam says something on the other end of the line. “Well, if you’ll shut up for a second, I’ll tell you.” The officer looks up quickly at “shut up.” When he realizes that Rick isn’t talking to him, he returns to whatever he is doing that is more important than taking Rick’s statement.

“Well, you know I was out last night with Kelly and them, yeah? We started at In Between but there was this one guy there who was singing all the bad 80’s hair band songs so after about three or four of them we could take no more and left. We thought about going over to Angles since it is closer than Hula’s but Max said that one waiter he hates - - no, not the one he slept with, the other one - - was working so we got into a cab and went to Hula’s. Is it just me or do all non-local cabbies over 30 all play the oldies station? I swear to god Elvis is playing every time one of them picks me up… I know, I know, but still…

“Anyway, so we get to Hula’s and the boys are already dancing… yeah, of course Jonny was there… no, but that new guy was dancing and I think you’re right, I think he is the same guy from San Diego that time. If not then he has a twin, I swear. So, anyway, we go up to the bar to order drinks but… no, no Jaeger Bombs last night. I gotta steer clear of those for a bit. I had a shot of 1800 and a Corona… Shut up! 1800 is no way near as bad as a Jaeger Bomb, it’s not.

“So I sat down cuz there was an empty stool and waited for Jeff to bring me my shot when this guy sits down next to me and starts talking to me… of course he was cute. Why would I be talking to him if he wasn’t cute? What? No, that’s not mean, it’s honest… Oh right, like you are the conversation go-to guy for the bar uglies. I don’t think so. But yeah, he was cute. Young. Your kind of young more so than mine. I don’t know but he looked about 20 which, since he was Asian, means he was anywhere between 18 and about 30.”

Rick laughs, a little too loud, once again disturbing the officer and causing him to glance over dismissively. “Hey, keep it down,” the officer warns.

“Right, sorry,” Rick says in a noticeably lower volume, “so we start talking and he seems kinda cool and… well, if you’ll wait I’ll tell you, jeez. Yes, I would skip right to the fucking, you’re the one who likes foreplay so this is the foreplay so shut up. Now where was I? Oh right, we’re like talking and he kinda leans in like he is gonna kiss me but leans into my ear and whispers, ‘Wanna get outta here?’ His voice was like he was already naked so I look for the other guys on the dance floor… yeah, people were dancing… it was weird… they motion me to come over so I ask the boy his name and he tells me AJ and I head to the floor… no, not to dance, to say goodbye.” Rick laughs and kicks at something stuck on the precinct floor.

“So they act all pissy but when I point out AJ they laugh… well, everyone except Keoni… he pulls me aside and says something like ‘be careful with that one’ or something, the dance floor seemed way louder than normal… I don’t remember jeez, Britney or something… but, I mean the kid is cute and I liked the aggressive… yeah, we left… my place… would you let me finish? So we have this great sex, I mean great in capital letters sex… an amazing bottom like you wouldn’t believe… and he asks if he can spend the night cuz his roommate’s girlfriend is over or some bullshit… I say bullshit because where am I now, Cam? Right, the police station,” Rick deliberately speaks louder at this point, “waiting to file a police report about his wallet getting stolen last night.”

The officer looks up again, this time a little friendlier and with a knowing smile
and motion Rick to the chair in front of his desk.

“Oh my god, I think this cop is a ‘mo. And kinda cute. I gotta go. But yeah… the little bitch stole my wallet. When I woke up this morning he was gone… he is totally your type too. Japanese Hawaiian, great smile, even better ass. Now I wish I had listened to Keoni… or at least heard more of what he had to say… but yeah, I’ll call you later.”

“Okay… see ya,” Cam says and lays his phone on the long wooden bar. The cute Asian boy raises the shot he had ordered and taps it against Cam’s now empty glass. “Cheers,” he says and downs the shot. He leans into Cam’s ear and whispers, “Wanna get outta here?”

Cam smiles and laughs slightly. He stares out the window at Diamond Head; it is growing darker as the light begins to fade. The boys will be lighting the torches along the beach walkway soon. He then looks back to his left at the boy whose voice did sound like he was already naked. Cam pulls the blue umbrella from his pineapple and twirls it between his fingers. “I have to pee but order me another Mai Tai and we’ll discuss the getting out of here when I get back.” Cam smiles and stands as AJ motions to the bartender for another special.

Cam grabs his phone, flips it open, hits speed dial #2, puts the phone to his ear and walks toward the restroom. “Hey,” he says when he is out of earshot, “I think you should come to Hula’s now. And maybe you should bring the cute cop.”

True Diva

So, once again, I am giving my opinion... it is my blog after all... but I think a true diva is one who loses herself in a song and can deliver it better than anyone... a diva does not have to OWN the song... and does not have to OWN the people around her (hello Diana, Britney, Barbra, Cher, Beyonce, etc). Some would give Kelly 2nd Place to Beyonce but I say hell no...

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Watch this video and see a true diva... diva, the word, comes from the same root as the divine and Kelly kicks Beyonce's ass in that respect... viva la Kelly... and, if truth be told, viva la Guetta :)

School Is In

So I promise to upload the final pics from Bangkok but I start classes tomorrow...

or, in the not-so-immortal words of Josie Cotton:

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"Now summertime has come to an end

So I've gotta get back to my studies again

And make a grade so I can pass

And go-o-o up to the head of my class..."

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I love that song (which you can get here) and I will be back shortly.

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More soon!

F*rk In The R*ad

So as my time in Bangkok bears an end, I have so many mixed feelings. I am going to miss so much about Thailand... but that should be obvious as I keep returning. But I also miss so much about Hawai'i. I think I need to weigh them against each other to really figure out where I want to be. I have been looking at International Schools here in Bangkok as possibilities for when I graduate but think I will do a little service on the islands before that will happen. I am also weighing my love for my sixth graders against my original desire to teach high school. ??? So many things to mull over, so many decisions to make. Enjoy some "decision" and choice" songs while I think.

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Elli*tt Smith - - Big Decisi*n

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Dev* - - Freed*m *f Ch*ice

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Fatb*y Slim - - Weap*n *f Ch*ice

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*rbital - - Ch*ice

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More soon!

This Wednesday

More on this soon!

Just Because

I just wanted to say I love my mom. For as much sh*t as I have put her through, she has always been a goddess. She got it from her mama LOL 'Cuz both the matriarchal women in my life have been supreme... if you can say the same, then tell them. Please.